It's 6AM do you know where your heads at?: quietirony — LiveJournal

What's up? Just got home from work... 8PM-5:30AM at Banana Republic... it's a good thing there was a really cute girl working with me, well actually two really cute girls... but one in particular that helped make the night move swifter... nah, not that swift -- I wish. She's 24 and I think the fact that I'm 21 means I don't have a chance... oh well. I'm really not too distaught about it. Wait... I'm not distraught at all... ...Not about that at least. So, My insurance company wants me to tell identify Alex for them in order for them to give me my settlement for the stuff stolen out of my car. Elaine, who's still fooling herself into thinking that it wasn't him. That the whole thing's just one bad coincidence tells me over the phone that if I do, she'll tell Alex where I live so he can come after me and thinks that he'll kill me. In response to this, I tell her, "That's great, good-bye." and I hang-up. She calls me back saying that she doesn't understand why I hung up and doesn't get why I'm making a big deal out of this because it's only money. This coming from a woman who continues to talk about wanting to find a man with money. This coming from an International Business major. This coming from the person who's car wasn't broken into, who doesn't have to pay rent, and who's parents just bailed her out of debt. Sure, she's right, it is only money, but from where I sit she doesn't have much room to lecture me on materialism. Plus, if I don't tell the insurance, my parent's will most likely be dropped from their insurance. Besides, the fact of the matter is, the police probably aren't going to do a god-damn thing, this is all just so the insurance company can cover their ass. What's rediculous about all this, is that Elaine thinks Alex is this dangerous... and yet, she's determined to continue her "friendship" or whatever the fuck she's calling it these days. I swear, people that end up in abusive relationships become somehow broken. They stop seeing the damage that person is causing in their life and continue to hold on to them as they drag them swiftly down to god knows where... Of course, the same can probably be said about me to some extent. Elaine's managed to successfully severe any emotional connection I once had with her, and I really don't think I'm suffering by continuing to talk to her, but at the same time I really have nothing to gain and yet I refuse to cut ties with her. Why? I guess it comes down to the fact that I'm still hoping I can save her. Fuck, I'm my father... A few years ago, my dad got himself into a situation not too dissimilar from mine; he even had a bunch of his stuff stolen as well. He continued to try to help this woman despite everything, and even lost his job due to all the energy he put into trying to help this woman get off her downward spiral. It didn't work. And if anything should be an omen it's that. When I was worried about Elaine's coke use, people kept telling me that she won't recover until she hits bottom. Well, she stopped using the coke, but I don't think she ever hit bottom, and until she does -- she'll probably continue along this grotesque course.... Death Of Season By AFI Of late, it's harder just to go outside To leave this deadspace with hatred, so alive Writhing with sickness, thrown into banality, I decay Killed by the weakness, but forced to return, turn it off I watch the stars as they fall from the sky I held a fallen star and it wept for me, dying I feel the fallen stars encircle me now, as they cry Out there so quickly grows malignant tribes Posthuman extinction excels unrecognized Feeling surrounded, so bored with mortality, I decay All of this hatred is fuking real, turn it on... yeah I watch the stars as they fall from the sky I held a fallen star and it wept for me, dying I feel the fallen stars encircle me now, as they cry It won't be all right despite what they say Just watch the stars tonight as they, as they disappear, disintegrate And I disintegrate 'cause this hate is fuking real And I hope to shade the world as stars go out and I disintegrate