A small epiphany...

I'm sitting here, trying to write a sketch of a community I am, or have been, a part of... I had wanted to write about my friends -- no, my family from SCR. I wanted to delve into how I met all these great people through the So-Cal Raves e-mail list, and how I had made these intense bonds at all the parties I've been to with all of you that I had partied with, but, alas, I found myself without the means to write about the friends I met and the community I joined when I joined SCR. The thoughts were there, but I was unable to weave them into a paper. Right now, that me isn't me. While I feel that I can be that person, and will be that person again -- Josh the raver is not who I am. I've found other communities to integrate myself into here in San Francisco, I no longer go out to parties and see all the faces of the people I've grown to know, and I can't capture those emotions as I write this paper... I think Elaine realized this aspect of me when she told me that I don't seem the same while I'm in So-Cal, she said that I act like a person from So-Cal, but not when I'm in Nor-cal; I think she might be right... It's interesting, I guess in some way it's probably a measure of my ability to adapt to my environment -- I don't know -- I need to get back to my paper...